The Man of the Hour

This doesn't seem to be written by Kacey, but it's amusing nonetheless...


WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
NOW THAT HE'S AN OLD FART

BRIAN IS THE DAD OF JIM AND SHERRY
HE'S ALSO THE SON OF KEL AND MARY
WITH SISTERS THREE, EVIE SHOULD BE WARY
NOW THAT HE'S AN OLD FART

HE'S TRIED LOTS OF SPORTS WHERE THE BALL IS
ROUND
AND GOLF IS THE GAME HE'S FINALLY FOUND
BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM A HOLE IN
THE GROUND
EVEN AS AN OLD FART

WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR BROTHER BRIAN
OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE AND VAINLY TRYIN
SAID HE TOOK A THREE BUT WE KNOW HE'S LYIN
NOW THAT HE'S AN OLD FART

NOW THAT HE'S REACHED THE MAGIC FIFTY
HE PROBABLY THINKS HE'S PRETTY NIFTY
EVEN THO HIS KNEES MAKE HIM PRETTY SHIFTY
NOW THAT HE'S AN OLD FART

WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR ONLY BROTHER
NOW THAT HE'S AN OLD FART

A TOAST TO BRIAN

WHEN I RAISE MY HAND PLEASE ALL CALL OUT
...."FOR A LONG, LONG TIME"

FOR EXAMPLE ...

SOME OF YOU HAVE ONLY KNOWN BRIAN FOR A
SHORT TIME.
OTHERS OF US HAVE BEEN AROUND HIM ...
"FOR A LONG, LONG TIME"

BRIAN WAS BORN IN TRAIL, BC
HE CAME TO WINNIPEG IN 1948
THO HE'S LIVED ELSEWHERE
HE'S BEEN IN WPG NOW ... F.A.L.L.T.

HE COMPLETED HIS SCHOOLING IN ALBERTA AND
MANITOBA
HE DID WELL IN HIGH SCHOOL
BUT PASSING ENGLISH IN UNIVERSITY TOOK ...
A.L.L.T.

BRIAN FANCIES HIMSELF A MAN ABOUT TOWN
AND HE PROBABLY HAS A BIT OF A WICKED PAST
BUT HE'S BEEN A REALLY GREAT DAD NOW ...
F.A.L.L.T.

HE DIDN'T SET OUT TO BE A REALLY GREAT DAD
BUT HIS KIDS KEEP STAYING AT HOME OR IN
SCHOOL
AND IT SEEMS AS THO HE'LL BE PAYING THE
BILLS ... F.A.L.L.T.

BANKING IS HIS CHOSEN PROFESSION AND MONEY IS
HIS PASSION
STAYING OUT OF DEBT IS A GOAL HE'S BEEN TRYING
TO ACHIEVE ... F.A.L.L.T.

NOW HE'S FIFTY AND IT IS ONLY FITTING THAT WE
HONOR THIS FELLOW
WHO HAS PUT UP WITH HIS SISTERS
WE WISH HIM GOOD HEALTH, GOOD LUCK AND WE
WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT EVEN THO HE MIGHT
FEEL
WE NO LONGER NEED TO OFFER OUR ADVICE ON
EVERYTHING HE DOES, WE INTEND TO
CONTINUE ... F.A.L.L.T.

WOULD YOU PLEASE RAISE YOUR GLASSES AND
TOAST WITH ME ...
BRIAN ... THE GUY WHO:
LEFT KK HANGING ON THE FENCE
SOLD WEEK OLD NEWSPAPERS TO BLACKIE'S MOM
WAS TOO SCARED TO GO TO MOVIES UNTIL HE
REACHED HIS TEENS
HAS USED MORE THAN HIS SHARE OF THE
ORTHOPEDIC HEALTH DOLLARS
INHERITED THE BALD GENE
HAS REACHED HIS HALF CENTURY
AND IT ONLY TOOK HIM 50 YEARS TO GET THERE

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... I GIVE YOU THE MAN OF
THE HOUR